Getting to know me ~~ My Salvation Testimony

I was thinking today about the fact that I am blogging in a whole new arena and while some of you have known me for the past few years, many of you have not. So I have revamped My Salvation Testimony off of my 360 blog. I only speak lightly of the experience, but enough said for you to grasp "my story". So this WAS me ............
My Salvation Testimony
Well, I have written of many things - but so far have not given my testimony. So I thought it was time. I will try not to get too long or confusing with it - but as you probably know by now I love to Ramble ( Hence the name of my blog ). Here goes. If I confuse you - just ask me about it.

I was not raised in church. We went on occassion. My Mom is English and kept saying she couldn't find a church like what she was used to - and my Dad...... he just didn't go. I don't ever remember seeing him in Church growing up. My Dad was in the Air Force so we were mainly back and forth between England and Texas. When we were in England I do remember going to church ( to the Protestant Service on Base and not to the Church of England, by the way) on occassion and to some of the Vacation Bible Schools. I know I used to really enjoy it - but a child will not encourage themself to continue. So after we came back to Texas I don't remember us going to church at all, except on one or two holiday services. At about 16 I started going to church with a friend. I remember sitting there, knowing that they all had something that I wanted - but didn't understand. Now in this time of going to this church I would go to their extracurricular activities and to sunday service, but never to sunday school. That is why years later I worked with the youth - trying to catch those teenagers who were passing through and not connecting. But I digress. I did go forward and was Baptized - but I still did not understand. No one ever took the time to check and make sure I understood about my "relationship with the Lord". So there were not really any life changes in me. But I still yearned. I was married a few months before my 19th birthday. I did try going to the Church of Christ with my husband once. We both knew we should be in church and as he had been raised in church I was willing to go to his denomination ( I really didn't understand the differences in denominations). Well the people were so rude we never went back. That was it for many, many years. My husband and I were stationed in England from 88 - 92. Well while we were there many things came to a head. I have always for as long as I can remember sensed "spirits" about me, even as a child. Well I had a cousin who also was active in this area and so it made it easier to open the door all of the way. I was looking for God and I trusted her. So a door that was cracked open in my life was suddenly flung open wide. Without going into details, I very quickly was into palm reading, tarot card reading ( which honestly I had dabbled in for a number of years prior and already had a set of tarot cards). I also was "looking" at past life regression, automatic writing - until I realized I didn't need it because I was already hearing in my mind what my hand was writing. Reading auras, astral projection and the last and most consistent thing I was involved in I guess would fall under channeling. I want you to understand though that I had opened a door that I quickly realized was not right, but I had no idea how to make it all go away. I never went deeply into any of the above named stuff because I didn't have total faith that if I just let loose I wasn't going to have a spirit jump into my body and I would be gone. Looking back I can see where the Lord truely protected me. We did a lot of what we did through Spirit Guides. I remember I thought that I was so wise and I never touched a ouija board because I KNEW they were bad. But don't you know these are all open doorways to the same vehicle? I might as well have played with the ouija board too!! Anyway I got to the point that I was hearing voices in my mind all of the time. You could never totally shut it off. As I tried to start drawing away I would get awful things said to me, some of it like I would be in a vehicle about to cross over a road and I would hear a voice say," when you cross over you will get hit by another car and die - and then you are mine". I used to go and see a palm reader fairly often and she would say to me "slow down, don't move so fast in things". She was not like any other palm reader I have since run into. Had I met any of the ones I went to in the states in later years I would have never gone back. But this lady never knew your name and never asked any questions. Yet she would tell me my past, present and future and be dead on for that which I could varify. Of course I understand now how that happened , but didn't then. Anyway, things built to a point that I had to make it go away, but how?? I had a spell with depression, which praise God I quickly got a handle on. I had a friend drive me to the Church down in Bourton on the Water because I knew I needed things to stop. But sitting in that church I still had all of the same stuff going on. A great lesson for me for the future. Satan does get into our churches. Test everything. I remember laying in bed one night and I was shown 4 spirits and I was told that they were just waiting for me. To remember them because I would be seeing them in the near future. Actually one of them came back quite a few years later. Only it was bothering one of my daughters. This stuff is generational. I used to lay in bed at night and talk myself to sleep. I was afraid to just let my mind rest - because then I had to hear things. There used to be an old lady who walked down our hallway. I could hear her steps and the tapping of her cane as she went. I could never find peace. My mind was all a clutter and I was afraid to let it be otherwise. I hear people talk about seeing things and I can only say "I know that it is true". I can remember looking at my cousin once and watching her eyes turn from a beautiful blue to a black, black. Or watching her as she sat in a chair rocking, describing what was going on. What she was seeing. But as I watched her it was like an old, old person took her over. I am not going to go into detail but suffice it to say, I saw it. Anyway, we finally got at the point that it was time to go back to the states. I was so happy because I thought I would be leaving it all there. Yeah, right. All I did was to put myself in my new home, alone and open wide to spiritual attack. With no one to talk to from England who would understand. I am not going to go through all that happened in that time frame until my acceptance , but it was ugly. However I finally reached a point of making a decision. My husband was TDY when it all came to a head. To begin with I had a dream. It was one of those dreams where you know, that you know, that you know that God has spoken to you. In it, we were out in our back yard. Well in Texas we had a concrete padded basketball area in the center of our backyard. In this dream it was a fenced in area and when we bought the house we were told it was a water tank. This is one of the things which bugged me for years. I know it was supposed to be a water tank but in my mind I always saw it as an oil tank, like the ones we had in our yard in England. But anyway, why someone would buy a house with a water tank in the center who knows, but we did in this dream. There were a bunch of kids going up a slide and sliding down into a wading pool. The slide was right up next to the fence and there was this large boy who went down the slide and as he did he knocked the fence over. These were not kids we knew, just kids. Well now I could see inside and it wasn't a water tank it was like 3 golf sandpits, but when I looked at them I could see they were satanic circles and there were satanic signs all along the outsides of them. Even though that is not something which I know, but they were obvious in this dream. I was saying "I wouldn't have this in my life" and my husband and I were taking axes and trying to destroy them, but they wouldn't break up. Well this is where I woke up. It was obvious to me the Lord was saying "Carole this is what you have in your life - now make a decision". Things were bad all of that day. The girls went to spend the night and I was all alone and knew I had to do something. That is when I heard the Lord tell me, " Carole I have told you and told you and told you, now I am backing off. Child, do something about it." If you ask me what God looks like I don't know, but I do know His hands. I don't know how to describe the motions He made as He said those words to me, but the visual is clear. He basically was dusting off His hands and telling me "it is your responsibility". My problem was always what if I asked God to take care of things and He didn't want to? What if He didn't want me? I would have stirred up satan and then would have him to deal with as God walked away. With everything being so visual to me, this was a hard, hard, step of faith. I called a man named Tom, who taught a Sunday School class I had visited a time or two recently. He came out and at 11:40pm on Feb. 16, 1994, 20 minutes before my 31st birthday, I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. Praise God. A friend of mine who I had also called, I think was very dissappointed - it was all so peaceful. But you see had it been anything else, I would have doubted its validity. God knew me and He knew I needed peace. It was wonderful. Now later on that night I had joy and laughing and tears and dancing. But for that moment I had total peace!!! I went to sleep that night for the first time in about 6 years and I just closed my eyes and went to sleep. No talking myself there!!

My friend had asked me if I though I should tell others my testimony as it was so weird. But I said yes because there are others out there who are going through the exact same thing and I will be honest. There will be those who will think I am nuts - but oh well. I asked a lot of people, looking for answers and so many of them were not honest. I will not lie or cover up my past. At one point before we left England I had the opportunity to go and see my older brother who was in Holland. I was so excited because I knew he was a Christian and I thought, " He can help show me in the Bible what is going on". I remember sitting at his table and his words were " Carole, There are two places things come from and what you have is not from God". He told me years after that fact - that he thought that since he couldn't quote the verses, etc. he had no business helping me. From that I learned to never let it stop me. I am not all knowledgable and I may have to stop and look or even to ask someone else - but I will find what I am looking for. It was a great lesson.

I cannot say it has been easy ever since. There were a couple of times that spirits tried and I had to learn to respond differently. I could tell you of the last time I sensed anything in my room. The Lords Prayer is mighty. I may go into some of these things in another blog. I am not wanting to draw this one out too long. A lot of it is learning to change your habits. To call on the Lord instead of depending on self. To lean on Him. I had to learn to "Be still and know He is God" instead of keeping my mind a clutter. For about the first two years I was told that over and over again by total strangers. The last thing I will cover is the water tank issue. About 10 years after the fact I was having lunch with a new Christian friend and we were sharing testimonies. As I was telling her mine and got to the water tank - I suddenly knew. He gave me living water!!!! Then I understood why the oil tank concept was there too. Oil is of course symbolic of the Holy Spirit!!!

God is good. He continues to draw us into new depths. I cannot wait each moment to see where He takes me. Well I will close for now. Blessings to each of you.

Hello My Friends and a prayer request

Hello My Friends,
Today I would like to request your prayers for my Grandmother, Catherine. She is back in the hospital again for the third time in about a 5 week period. They say that she has an infection in her kidneys which has gone to her blood stream and into her heart. I hope I have explained that properly. Two times ago when she went in they decided she had ecoli, which they say they believe is what is now creating further problems. My father has denied a feeding tube as it is not what she wants. My Dad said he thought he had lost her when they took her in. But they were able to level her back out. We cannot pray against her will, so what I ask your prayers on is that she is able to accomplish anything left undone and then can just go peacefully. That all family members would just release her. Because we can in our hurt make them feel like they have to stay with us. She is in the early stages of Alzheimer's and has said that she would rather just go on home to the Father then to slowly fade away in her mind. She is 87 and has had a full life. For peace for those of us left without her.
On an uplifting note, Joshua graduated from his Airborne class today. I think that is the name of it. He has officially learned to jump with a parachute. He has done it for years with a different (rectangular) shoot, but I guess in this class it is with the traditional shoot. Tamara was able to go and film and take pictures on Wednesday as he jumped out of the plane. This morning was his graduation. Tamara had called wanting family there for this big moment in his life. We were thinking of going. However with this turn of events, I felt like I should stay in town in support of my parents with my Grandmother. They will tire themselves out and then will be exhausted when they need to make the after death decisions(if it comes to that. They thought so last time and she pulled through). My Dad is still exhausted from the sitting up overnight with her at the hospital from before. But that is something that I can easily do, freeing him up to rest.
At the last moment Josh's parents were able to go. So Tamara had a friend who was going to let them stay with her last night so that they would be a complete surprise this morning!!! Tamara was gonna drop Joshua off and then go and pick up Cathy and Steve. Tamara was supposed to pin Joshua's wings on him, but she has set it up for Steve to take her place as that will mean a lot to Joshua. She has been so excited about this. I know she was picking up balloons yesterday and has a friend making a cake for her. It will be in the shape of one of the 2 possible planes Joshua could be jumping out of. She will have his name and rank across the wings. I will post some photos when I get some. I posted the above photo of them since this is their exciting day. That was quite a few months ago, because this last visit I only seem to have individual photos and not a family shot!!!
It is beautiful here today. The pool is balanced in chemicals and almost there is clarity. This morning we had to save a turtles life. It was a little tiny one, a little bigger than a 50 cent piece. It was floating along the side, so we lifted it out. I wish I had had my camera out there with me, but alas I did not. So far, no snakes this year - which is good.
Well I had better get going. I want to pop by the hospital and see my Grandmother before I go to work. I hope that each of you have a brilliant and blessed day in the Lord.

Update: My Dad just called and they are moving my Grandmother to Hospice care. The photo attached is her at Thanksgiving.

Sunflowers!!

SUNFLOWERS!!!!!!!



Our Showdown for today is Sunflowers as you can see from above. When I think of sunflowers I think of beauty, vibrancy, power and action. I don't know if all of those descriptive words make sense to you - but they speak to me. . Sunflowers are living and active - just as God's word is living and active in our lives. After all, God "SPOKE" the world into existence . I was saying in the previous blog about when we raise our hands that our Father knows our unique fingerprints. But the other day I heard for the first time that we also each have a unique sound to our voice that only we can make. Wow!!! So when I praise or pray or moan and groan to my Father, He hears my individual sound. But here is a step further in this thought. Did you know that when you look up the word Wilderness in Strongs Concordance that the secondary meaning for it is mouth or sound??? I didn't know it either. I mean why would you think that a wilderness would have anything to do with your voice?? I am going to digress a tiny bit to bring it back around to where I need to go ~ so please bear with me. {Or is that bare with me??} When Jesus went to the Garden of Gethsemane to pray and He told Peter, James and John to wait there for Him while He prayed. See He knew that it was for Him to speak the Fathers will into His life. "Not my will, but thou will be done." When we have problems we tend to run to our friends and say, "pray for me" and then we might pray for ourselves. But Jesus knew because God spoke His future to Him and then He had to speak it out. Don't you know that your stuff only responds to YOUR voice. God speaks it to us and we speak it out.

Back to the Wilderness. I am sure you know that when Moses took the Israelites into the desert and they took their trip, it should have taken about ten days instead of 40 years. Also that only Joshua and Caleb made it into the Promised Land out of all of those people!! And here is the point ................

WHAT YOU SPEAK IN YOUR WILDERNESS DETERMINES YOUR FUTURE!!!

Do you suppose that if the Israelites had not moaned and groaned and complained, do you suppose that they would have flown through on that trip? It is how you make the journey that has an everlasting impact. Wilderness = mouth, sound.....

My friends, Speak to your mountain!!!

How did sunflowers get me here?? When I said beauty, vibrancy, power and action ~ those are all living words, but see we have the Living Word in our lives. We are SON - FLOW -ERS !! Because the Son flows through us if we have invited Him to make that difference in our lives, our hearts, in our deepest most being.

AAHHHHH ......... Carole is checking in........

I know ....... I know.......... ANOTHER picture of Mackenzie!!! LOL. But this one goes with a thought!!! When I was sitting at Bible study the other evening I found myself looking at my Moms hands and from there my mind wandered to little Mackenzie's hands and then to God. I had meant to get a new photo of her hands when she was home and didn't. That is one of the things that I didn't do when my girls were little was to just get a photo of those little chubby hands and feet. I did get her feet months and months ago, as well as her hands. The hands were with Rick and Tamara's hands for a photo contest. A generation of hands. Then I found a photo which I had totally forgotten of my Mother and Mackenzie's hands which totally tie in with my thoughts. But I digress. Tamara sent me the attached photo of Mackenzie with a comment about her little baby fat rolls and it made me think of that moment at Bible study. I found myself thinking of all of the joy that I receive in her little bitty hands. When they reach to me for a hug or a kiss. As they stuff the banana that she so loves into her mouth. As quickly and as much as possible!! As she makes her funny little buzzing noise as she plays busily with whatever her little hands can reach. When she holds to the edge of the bathtub as she lifts her little chubby leg trying to climb in. Watching her little chubby fingers as they fly over the buttons on her Grandfathers computer keyboard, or plays with a phone or remote control (whenever she can get one). When she came this time and was not well, she would just curl up against my shoulder with her little chubby hands lying still by her sides as she sought the relieve and comfort that she needed. Or one of her newest things of flinging her arm out as she points towards whatever she is wanting. Her little chubby hands are never still. She makes me laugh and smile so as I watch her, as she makes discoveries in her world, meeting new challenges head on. Always curious, constantly moving, until she has finally exhausted herself and falls asleep. Then her little chubby hands lay still and trusting.

I found myself pretty emotional as I thought about her little hands and I wondered, "Do our hands bring such joy and smiles to our Father in Heaven?" As we go through our days taking care of our loved ones in the many things that we do. Cooking, cleaning, braiding a loved ones hair, cutting grass, wiping a runny nose, feeding an older Loved one who no longer has the ability to feed themselves, working at whatever our job is, etc. Then how about when we are turning the pages of the Lords Word, making notes, looking up words for it's Hebraic/Greek meaning, highlighting something which the Holy Spirit has just used to bring enlightenment. Sharing His Word with another, as I make a point with my hands which I seem to speak with (HA). Or when I grab the hands of a friend as I lift them up before My Father in prayer. Or as I come before Him asking for Him to move in a situation, again my hands have a habit of talking along with me (LOL). Does it excite Him as I make new discoveries like Mackenzie excites me as she makes new discoveries?? Or when I lift my hands in Praise. Praise of how MARVELOUS my Father is. How Awesome and Amazing. Expressing a love to Him that bursts from the very center of my being. I have a friend who always teaches that when we raise our hands to the Lord that He sees each of our individual fingerprints and says "Ahh, Carole is checking in." I may be an adult, but to Him ............. I am still a little child.





1 Timothy 2:8A ~~ Therefore I want the men in every place to pray, lifting up holy hands..........